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Wednesday, April 25, 2012

It's been long since I updated this blog. I really need a medium to vend out my thoughts. Things aren't going like what i wanted.

Latest, I joined FMO 12/13 planning and FMO 12/13. To me, it really was a once-in-a-lifetime experience. However, my boyfriend wasn't happy on how I "wasted" my vacation on that event because he don't like how things are done and the behind-the-scene jobs as a planner. For that matter, we have resolved.
However, there will be 2 upcoming events, namely HeartzOut and VoiceOut, that are recruiting for planners. Ever since after FMO planning, I have a strong bond with the other planners. My heart tell me to join the planning for the upcoming events. But then, my boyfriend isn't happy with my decision after I told him about it. I am really sandwiched and getting flexed up about it. Even another of my male friend is agreeing with my boyfriend while my 2 girlfriends are signing up for the events. I really don't know what to do; to follow my heart to join the event, or for the sake of my results and my boyfriend, drop the idea of joining.
I told my boyfriend that I decided not to join the events, but then, my heart is totally unconvinced of my decision. It's like the feeling of abandoning the rest of the planners when they are joining. More importantly, is to give up my interest and passion that I want to contribute. However, on the other hand, I don't want to leave my boyfriend in a latch of facing to do the projects all alone and let alone sacrifice my result. I still want to maintain in the Director's List since I am able to get it for Year 1 Semester 2. I have also made up my mind to help my boyfriend, if possible, get him listed in the Director's List with me for Year 2 Semester 1. I want to continue getting into the Director's List. The more I think about making the right decision, the more I feel like crying. I just wished that there is something I can do about it... He is not willing to support my heart-desired passion to join the events, neither do I want him to face the projects alone. I am really lost... :'(

1:23 AM